If supermodels are insecure, if billionaires feel like failures, and if the world's greatest artists feel like imposters, how the heck are the rest of us supposed to feel worthy and good enough?!
The truth is, value doesn't come from others' praise, worth doesn't come from wealth, and contentment doesn't come from achievement. If we only care about superficial things like money and looks, our lives will lack what truly matters. The more we value love, kindness and generosity, the more we can actually appreciate the blessings we have and the ones yet to come.
In today's podcast episode, I talk about what to do when those feelings of inadequacy arise, why we have those feelings, and how to rediscover our infinite potential and worth.
When we tap into the source of bliss within us, we need no praise, no self-worth, not even self-esteem because this bliss lies beyond the illusory separate sense of self — the state of oneness.
To be alive on Earth as a human in 2023 is a freakin' miracle. You're literally a miracle. Never forget it.
Please enjoy other episodes where I share meditation techniques, tips and spiritual lessons from around the world for peaceful and stress-free living. Remember to subscribe to stay up-to-date.
*****
If you ever feel like my words brought a change in your life, and want to show your SUPPORT for what I am doing, click here.
Find all of my BOOKS for wherever you are on your spiritual journey: https://www.eastwesticism.org/spiritual-meditation-books/
Want to gift a book to a prisoner? Go here.
If supermodels are insecure, if billionaires feel like failures, and if the world's greatest artists feel like imposters, how the heck are the rest of us supposed to feel worthy and good enough?!
The truth is, value doesn't come from others' praise, worth doesn't come from wealth, and contentment doesn't come from achievement. If we only care about superficial things like money and looks, our lives will lack what truly matters. The more we value love, kindness and generosity, the more we can actually appreciate the blessings we have and the ones yet to come.
In today's podcast episode, I talk about what to do when those feelings of inadequacy arise, why we have those feelings, and how to rediscover our infinite potential and worth.
When we tap into the source of bliss within us, we need no praise, no self-worth, not even self-esteem because this bliss lies beyond the illusory separate sense of self — the state of oneness.
To be alive on Earth as a human in 2023 is a freakin' miracle. You're literally a miracle. Never forget it.
Please enjoy other episodes where I share meditation techniques, tips and spiritual lessons from around the world for peaceful and stress-free living. Remember to subscribe to stay up-to-date.
*****
If you ever feel like my words brought a change in your life, and want to show your SUPPORT for what I am doing, click here.
Find all of my BOOKS for wherever you are on your spiritual journey: https://www.eastwesticism.org/spiritual-meditation-books/
Want to gift a book to a prisoner? Go here.
Welcome to path to peace with Todd Perelmuter. I'm your host, Todd Perelmuter our world is a projection of our collective consciousness. The more peace we bring into our lives, the more peace we bring into this world. So let the transformation begin. Isn't it amazing? How many super successful, super famous super wealthy people who are loved and admired by millions, and sometimes billions of people around the world can feel completely inadequate, and worthless. And they can succumb to severe insecurity, that is sometimes even magnified because of their fame. And because of their praise. Because then they can feel unworthy and undeserving of praise. They can feel like people don't know the real them. People wouldn't accept them, if they knew the real them. Or they feel like frauds. They feel like their work is terrible. And we must be fools for liking them. And so if people on Earth, who are the greatest at some skill, or, or talent feel inadequate? What chance do the rest of us have? And there in lies? The beautiful answer, because if we flip that around, the question becomes, if even people who are the best feel worthless, then I, as just a regular person, somewhere in the middle, not too great, not too terrible. I can see clearly that the seeking validation from my achievements game is a losing game, and that it is not worth even playing. I see so many people all over the world, frequently, who are living idyllic lifestyles, in beautiful nature, with lots of free time, with close friends and family with incredible home cooked food cooked with love. I mean, I'm literally describing every poor village in the world right now. But because cell phones are starting to make their way to these places, they're getting on Instagram, they're getting on tick tock, and they're seeing that there's these five star restaurants. They're seeing these weird bicycles that can go 200 miles an hour and make really loud noises. And now they want one of these Harley Davidson things, or go to Hawaii, or go to the French Riviera, and drive around in a Ferrari, and all of those things they never even knew existed. And now they feel they can't live without. And so their picture perfect lifestyle, the way human beings really have been living for the longest time. And how we flourished as people is now no longer good enough for us. Because there is now in our mind, some things something else and someplace else. And as long as there is this longing, this craving, we can never be grateful. And we can never be at peace, where we are. And so we really have to explore and go deep into our psyche and deep into our past and dive into where on earth we got these ideas in our head about what makes a person worthy, valuable, respectable. And it's easy to see where that comes from on television. And in the movies. The rich person is always the winner most powerful and the lower status people are always lower income people. And so just this subtle way that it affects our subconscious where we just see how society in really every sphere of public discourse, this worship of the dollar, this idea in our head that he who dies with the most wins, and that the very best of us are the ones who can most adopt that corporate mindset, which is to cut costs at any cost, to maximize profits and maximize results at any cost. And if we're willing to do that, if we're willing to sacrifice everything in our lives for that advancement, we will get ahead, succeed, achieve, and then we will be granted by the universe with everlasting contentment and lasting peace. No, I'm kidding. Of course, we will sacrifice everything, lose everything, have a imbalanced life. But we will, there's a good chance achieve great wealth, and great achievement and acclaim and fame and praise. But the problem with looking at life, as this series of achievements in these boxes we need to check off is that the checking off the achievement, the win, happens for a brief moment, a fraction of a second. And so it's this emotional roller coaster that we're stuck on. That goes from trying so hard. I mean, usually the people who achieve the most feel the most insecure and worthless, and they feel they have something to prove. And we hear so many times, super successful people talk about how terrible their parents were, and how they aren't like that to their kids. And then they always end the story with. And that's why I am the success I am today. But no, not for my kids. And of course, I'm not saying, you know, be cruel to kids, no way. But what I am saying is that, that need to achieve often masks, a deep insecurity and a inner voice of severe criticism that usually is adopted from a very critical parent. And for the record, I believe that through teaching mindfulness, and even meditation to children can really help them hear parents better, because their ability to sit and to calm the mind is so much improved from meditation, that when we are able to just sit with our children in a way where they're not bouncing off the walls, we can really talk to them about anything, and they are able to absorb that information so much better. And so I think there are much better ways we can instill that hard work ethic, that ambition, without the fear, and without the stress, because I think we can actually perform better without those hindrances. But for adults who've lived a childhood, in a kind of household that was, at the time seemingly very cruel and strict, you know, one of those homes where you come home with a 98, and they say what's up with the other two points. And of course, those children may grow up to be great successes, they also can grow up to feel they have to prove something to the world, they can never feel good enough. And we see this time and again, where our most beloved celebrities, people who have the job, anyone would kill for and they commit suicide, or they have public struggles with mental health. They can be depressed, they can feel as though they have to put on a very brave face to everyone and that there's no one they can truly confide in or open up to. And this can cause enormous suffering as well. And so my answer to anyone who is suffering with that worthlessness, is to remember that it has not thing to do with your bank account, your marital status, your job title, your level of respect and praise you get from your friends and family, you can have all of that and feel worthless. And if we are going to create a path forward, that is free from that self hatred, then we need to right now re condition our mind relearn what a good life is, what do we value the most? Is it kindness? Is it freedom? Is it free time? Or is it a bank account? A square foot requirement for a house a certain brand of boat, we can have all the money in the world. If we are surrounded by selfish or cruel or dishonest, then all the money in the world will not make us happy. The more we start to value, kindness, and honesty, friendship, and love, right now the more our lives become filled with people that match our values. So if we are feeling unworthy, because the people around us don't value us, then we may be valuing the wrong people, or the wrong traits and characteristics. For being in the people we wish to spend our time with. Now, this in no way is saying cut anybody out. But it is saying to be aware of the people that drain our energy, the people who want to bring us down. And to simply define in our mind what appropriate boundaries are with these people, be there to give them love be there to give them a shoulder to lean on when they need it, but not at the expense of our inner peace of our purpose in life. But in order to do that, we first need to really get comfortable and confident with who we are in our own skin. We have to recognize our value from within, beyond other people's opinions and judgments. We can't be truly confident until we truly know ourselves. So here are three ways that I recommend for building up that self worth and confidence and value and inner peace and contentment. So the first thing is challenges create little wins in our daily life, as many as possible. This is just a kind of simple, quick, easy, no brainer way to start to build that confidence and let it snowball down that hill and just grow and grow and grow every day. And so that can be setting a five or 10 Minute Meditation goal and sticking to it every single day. It could be reading 10 pages of a business book every single day. And you know, whatever it is for you that you just have been meaning to do or you want to do and not getting around to it has felt just very depressing and draining of our self worth. So let's start this week with a tiny little baby step in that direction. Usually we burn out we go too hard. And we don't last too long. So let's try the opposite way. 10% and maybe each week we increase it if that's our goal. But whatever we do, to just create these little wins these little changes, and I'm telling you they snowball it'll be one change and then two, and then three, and pretty soon. You have a life that looks nothing like your old one. As we talked before, about how desire is the enemy of people Happiness, they can live in Utopia, and be unhappy because, you know, they don't live near the newest Broadway show out in New York City. And so, the second step is to examine and change our wants to change our desires, we can do this, we have to examine them, most of us are just mildly chasing money, and luxury, luxury goods. And if we examine, we can change because we can consciously reexamine any value, any belief. And we can always be improving that mental software. And so in this instance, if we don't have something that we want, and we can't get it, then we have to change that want, or we will suffer. And usually, this stems from us saying, I really need a new car, and we really mean want a new car, you know, we need a used car, we want a new car. And so simply just reexamining what we really care about what really makes us happy, you know, and if that is jewelry, and gold and money and power, then you are making a conscious, intentional choice. And I would support that, if there is inner conflict, if there is struggle, if what you really want to do is be a teacher, or, you know, a park ranger, but you believe that you should be a Wall Street banker, then these are worth exploring, and we can find those sources of conflict. And we can resolve them so that we only want what we have. And everything else is just icing on the cake. Usually, we only feel inferior, when we wish to be what we're not. Well, like every tree, and plant, they don't try to grow, where the conditions aren't right for them. When we find our true purpose, our calling our mission in life, and we know ourselves so well that we go after it with that confidence and strength and determination, there will be no doubt of our value, and of our worth. So what is preventing us right now, from feeling worthy. We've already established that it's not the praise or respect or adulation of others, because people who have that still feel worthless. We've established that it's not wealth, or achievement. And so when we take away everything that is not the cause, all that we are left with is our thoughts. And we have to change our thoughts. We have to recognize that society conditioning, whether it's that parental voice that got into our head, that is so critical, or whether it's shows in the media and social media showing us rich people and news that talks about how terrible the economy is. All of these things get into our head, that the deck is stacked against us, and that this game is rigged, and we will never achieve we'll never be happy, we'll never be good enough. And so the best hope we have is to work ourselves to death trying. But if we recognize those influences, if we recognize the words of our friends, or family who don't support us or respect our choices, we don't have to be mad. But we need to simply be aware, we need to not react in any way. Just be aware, aware of how those thoughts get into our head aware of our mental reaction resistance. Or maybe we even accept it and let it take us into this downward spiral of of insecurity and self doubt and self loathing. And so we watch our thoughts we explore the past that led to this thought process. And then we expand our awareness. And we remember that we are the universe, inseparable, and that these thoughts that we have these bodies that we find ourselves inhabiting are the universe speaking to us, and through us, it is the universe that is guiding us. Whenever we think we're at the wheel. Always remember, the universe is the car, the road, the fuel, and the auto driving software. So we think we're driving but we're really just passengers, living out the karma of billions of years, the causes and effects that led us to be in this place where we are right now. The Universe manifested us into existence. Beyond all odds, you are literally the miracle of life. And you have forgotten. I don't know, if a majestic horse, the most beautiful stallion on earth has high self esteem. I don't know if this gorgeous, strong, shining animal feels proud of himself and feels so much self worth and value. I would imagine not. I would imagine this horse doesn't think too much about itself. I think it's too busy, being present, loving life, loving the grass, loving its friends and family. And a moment of doubt, and insecurity doesn't enter the picture, while simultaneously no car cockiness, arrogance, exaggerated self importance. And we really can learn so much from these beautiful animals. When we become too self conscious, we can become selfless. When we start hating ourselves, we can love others. And instead of craving praise and adulation, we can be confidently and firmly rooted in the present moment. I meant to say present moment I was going to delete pleasant moment, but the present moment is so pleasant, I thought I'd leave it in the horse doesn't wish it was an elephant. The horse doesn't wish it was rolling up in an Escalade. For the Oscars, wearing valen t now is that a person? No, the horse lives within its own nature. And this is the most beneficial way for a horse to live. And when we know ourselves, and we find that path of life that is made just for us. We can walk down that path with strength and confidence instead of insecurity and doubt, and we will perform better, we will sell better. Every aspect of our lives improves. When we have the unshakable confidence that comes from being able to get out of our head be present. And to even be aware of our feelings of inadequacy and to be at peace with that as well. And that is how we can see those thoughts. We can know that those thoughts are there. And we can even use them to push us forward in a healthy way and in a mindful way instead of a way that robs us of our peace, joy and love for life. I am not sure who you've been listening to. I know there's a lot of people out there who think differently, but I wouldn't take their opinions. Let me tell you my opinion. Every single living creature is infinitely precious, priceless, and invaluable, with infinite worth, with infinite capacity for love, and joy, to be a human, to be the top of the top with a capacity for those things, for love, joy and meaning in our lives, and to still not feel worthy enough to have a brain that is the most advanced quantum computer in the universe that we know of, to have a body that is the coolest, these things are so cool. And to live in the 21st century, with all of our luxuries and conveniences, like kings. Essentially, it just reminds me of how we can have every single luxury and convenience and not be happy. We already take air condition for granted. And so many people around the world have none. Every moment we're not literally jumping up and down with joy, thanking the universe for air conditioning. So you, my friend, are a miracle. You have more potential than any other life form on this planet. You are a magical mystery. You've just got to remember who you are. And one of the best ways to do that, in my opinion, is to spend as much time as you can, hopefully, a full day at least, but even a couple hours. Try to get into a forest. Try to get away from people if you can. If you know if you have to just buy a house plant and do it in a room with the door closed, but reconnect with yourself. Outside of all influence. No phones, no distractions, and just be with yourself and your thoughts. This is what I call the Great unraveling of our conditioned mind. This is the way that we can stop new input from coming in. And we can process all of that information we talked about where our beliefs came from, where our values came from. are they true? Do they serve us? What suits me the most. And this is that time where we can reconnect with ourselves, rediscover ourselves and rediscover that infinite source of worth and value that every single one of us has within us. Much love. You You've been listening to path to peace with Todd Perelmuter. Being here and putting in this important and noble work is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself and others. If you found this podcast even a little helpful. Please make sure to leave a review so it can reach others who may be in need. And remember, the path to peace starts with a single step.