How to Not Get Attached to My Accomplishments

Someone recently asked me, "I achieved so much in my life. How not to get attached to that? I am nothing without my accomplishments."

Achievements are one of the most common ways our ego gets inflated. I call it: falling for the success trap. How could the most advanced biological life form in the universe ever feel like "nothing," with or without accomplishments? How could someone living on a planet with such spectacular sunsets and flowers, puppies and babies, ever feel like some job title or amount of money are what life is all about?

Only when we forget who we are can we feel like nothing. In today's podcast episode, I discuss the nature of the sneaky  success trap, how to get out of it, and how to rediscover who we truly are and why we're here on this beautiful blue planet we call home.

Please enjoy other episodes where I share meditation techniques, tips and spiritual lessons from around the world for peaceful and stress-free living. Remember to subscribe to stay up-to-date.

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Transcript

0:02  
Welcome to path to peace with Todd Perelmuter. I'm your host, Todd Perelmuter our world is a projection of our collective consciousness, the more peace we bring into our lives, the more peace we bring into this world. So let the transformation begin. Most of the time, when people think of spirituality, and finances, they tend to think of how to deal with money worries, or how to make more how to manifest more. That's a big theme in the spiritual landscape that we see online these days. But today, I want to talk about the opposite issue that a lot of people have. And that is our attachment, and identification with our success, and accomplishments. And before we get into too much depth, it's important to recognize that while they seem like opposite issues, it is really both sides have a double edged sword. And we fall into that identification trap, whether it is success, or whether it is failure. And it's very important to understand that joy and sorrow are two sides of the same coin, there is no difference, they are on the spectrum of emotions, and they may be on different sides. But it is still only that fluctuation in sense perception, those feelings of agitation, or pleasure. And this is the same for when it comes to attachments and cleaning. If we are attaching to concepts, it doesn't matter if it's positive or negative, we fall in to the attachment trap, and that trap success in at first because it is so alluring. It is intoxicating. It literally is a drug success, fame, money, power, are drugs. And we must make no mistake about that. Because we have to look soberly, and mindfully if we're going to become free from that mental story. Now, this success drug, like any other substance, whether it's caffeine, whether it's gambling, or we're dealing with workaholism, or any substance, that or activity that can be used to escape the here and now, or can be used to escape our negative feelings, or can be used to escape our responsibilities, our duties, and our life that on some level, we feel is unsatisfactory, maybe it's monotonous and repetitive or boring and mundane. But whatever it is, we can use substances or activities to cope. Now the problem with that is we lose our ability to self heal. Because we are so reliant on that substance and activity, and this is what brings us into that trap. This is that first bear trap we get our foot stuck in. Because suddenly now, when we don't have our soothing mechanism, we get very frustrated, because we have not only develop that addiction to the thing, but we have atrophied, our own internal mechanisms for healing, for returning to a peaceful mental state, and to alter our own mood at will, which we all have that ability to do. We all have had moments where we're in a bad mood and we think of something and suddenly our mood changes but it doesn't have to be accidental. And we can develop that ability. Meditation is one of the most profound ways to do that, because we become fully aware of our physical body and our mental state, because we've removed all distractions. And so now, we are aware of any tension we're holding on to even subtle amounts. And then we learn ways to release that it can be breathing into our physical pain. And what that looks like is just focusing on some place in our body where we're holding tension where maybe our muscles are a little tense, maybe there's a little twitch of pain. And it's often in the back, but it can be anywhere knees, loves knees, loves hips, loves elbows, loves neck, shoulder, pretty much anywhere. But if it's wherever it is, you just focus all of your attention and focus on that spot. You don't think about it, you don't put labels on it, you don't wish it away, even, you just put all your focus there. And as you breathe, you keep your focus there. And this creates a physical change in the body, where we put our focus fundamentally changes our body, our whole body, all of its healing mechanisms, direct their focus to that spot as well, when you put 100% of your focus for a sustained period of time. And through deep breathing, we get enough oxygenated blood to that region, and it is really oxygen. That is the cause of most pain in the body. It's a it's a deprivation of oxygen that takes place. Similarly, we can look at our feelings, and we can breathe, peace and supportive energy into that space, that non physical dimension, where it is sensing that is taking place we're being instead of thinking or doing. So it's very important as we shift our attachments from success. And we shift it into the space of joy, for no reason, no external situation, that lasting joy, that joy, of living, that love for life itself, so that as long as you have life inside of you, there will be love and joy. This doesn't mean we don't feel pride for our accomplishments, it doesn't mean we don't get happy over our successes. And it also doesn't mean we don't feel sad when we fail, or when we make a mistake. What it means is we are simply mindful of every emotion, and every thought as it comes up. This is how we don't fall for that success trap. We recognize this burst of delight when we look back on our accomplishments. And in doing so we also have an awareness that we will be sad if that ends or if there is a setback, that we are making our happiness dependent on a temporary situation. And this can actually help us catch ourselves and not get lost in that pride and that superior feeling. And we don't have to wish for that emotion to change. But simply recognizing that it's temporary, that it's dependent happiness and fleeting happiness, and that we will quickly have that feeling were off. And in so doing, we can sink into a lasting peacefulness and it's a lot easier when we are feeling on top of the moon and just uncloudy nine to do this practice. It's a little harder when we are very stressed when we are not only lost in our thoughts and emotions, but we are not thinking clearly because we're blinded by fear.

9:50  
It's really just the practice of being our own analyst, our own psychologist and we observe These feelings and we become cautious of thoughts and emotions that can carry us away, we become alert to thoughts of greed, or egotism, and we accept what is there. But we witness it with our greater intelligence and wisdom, which is to say, we observe it. And we can recognize whether something is good and serving us or whether it is making us suffer, making us miserable, and making us unable to see reality as it is. Because if we feel we are nothing without our accomplishments, and success, then we have just reduced ourselves to the greatest height. In biological engineering, the universe has ever seen the human body and brain down to one word, two syllables, failure. And even that is not an accurate comparison. Because we are not our body and minds. We are universal consciousness itself. We are born of the Stardust from billions of stars. And before that, we were energy in an infinitely small point. At the center of the universe. along with everything else that makes up our universe, today, we are the universe, the universe is each of us. There is no separation. There is no individual mean. We were all birthed out of this universe, by this universe, for this universe, to experience itself. And if you take away all your success, all of your money and titles, and prizes and awards, you can still look at a sunset, you can still look at a flower. See a puppy dogs face, see a laughing baby and feel that vibrant, lifeforce energy flowing within you, and everything around you, to connect with that oneness, to be flooded, in gratitude, to be bursting with love, that doesn't even need a recipient, but it is just to sit in that feeling of pure love. And bliss is far greater, more immense, more powerful and transformative and profound than any pay raise or number in a bank account, or title on a business card. And it is only when we have lost touch with our true self with our true nature. That we look to external things, superficial things, to fill up our cup to dull or numb, that suffering that is happening beneath the surface. At this time today in human history, denial is far more popular, a defense tactic, defense mechanism, then courageously confronting that which we're afraid of. The human body is very good at repressing emotions and thoughts. This is why there is a huge rise these days in psychosomatic medical disorders, which is to say, stress and fear in the mind becomes physical symptoms in the body. And this isn't woowoo science. It has been cited in the Harvard Business Review, as well as the American Un Academy of Family Physicians survey in US News and World Report. And it's very possible that that number could be even higher because we still are like newborn babies with how much we know about the mind body connection. But according to the leading experts in this field, stress and repressed emotions are the major cause for much of the 20th and 21st century's ailments. For example, ulcers became very popular, I mean, not popular in the sense that everyone wanted to hang out with them. They were spreading almost like an epidemic. And then when it started to come out that it is a expression of our mindset and stress, it stopped being the unconscious minds go to, to create physical symptoms. And so it changed and it often through history, we see an epidemic like wave in some kind of disease that is not contagious. And we see it rise and fall, because the popularity is what allows the subconscious to have permission to create physical symptoms in something that it feels is socially acceptable in order to take attention away from the mind, and put it on the body. And so that it never has to look at itself. And it never has to feel like a failure, because remember, the ego is doing this. And the ego is the one that wants a big puffed up chest and beating it like an ape. Because that's what the ego is, is the feeling of importance center of our brain. After ulcers, carpal tunnel became kind of the new thing for stressed out people had desk jobs, even though it was not common among typist on typewriters before the computer. And so we see these kind of physical diseases, physical disorders that have no real cause. And we can see, usually, only after that we were in the grip of this mass psychosis. Today, the epidemic level proportion of physical symptoms is mostly back pain, not completely, there may be elbow pain, knee pain, hip pain, but many of these which have no clear, cause, such as a horrible accident that required lots of surgery, are typically stress related, are typically caused because of suppressing and repressing feelings, that we are not comfortable. Subconsciously, with experiencing consciously, they're too scary. So our subconscious thinks it's protecting us by hiding from us. But it can't really hide. And it manifests in many different physical ways. But whenever we are trying desperately to latch on to something externally, for joy. There is an underlying unhappiness, it can feel safer to ignore that and just try to fill up our lives with drugs and alcohol and parties and all the fun stuff, or work and all the boring stuff, but equally effective at filling up our life with external things to avoid the internal. But one day that catches up with us, everybody retires, everybody takes time off from time to time. And we all know those types of people that can't enjoy vacations, because they are too addicted to work. And the only way that we can tap into those emotions, and those thoughts that are just beneath the surface, we must quiet the mind. We must get into such a relaxed state, that we're not quite awake, not quite dreaming and sleeping, but we are in this meditative state, which is deeply calm, deeply peaceful, and deeply relaxed.

19:44  
We start to quiet the mind. We put our attention on our breath. And When thoughts come in, we just watch them come. Watch them go and bring our attention back to our breath. And it is in the thoughts that pop up that we can decipher what's going on underneath. And sometimes we need to address something sometimes, there's a really critical inner voice that we discover when we set the distractions aside. And then we can deal with that, then we can learn how to accept instead of resist, we can learn to embrace instead of always judging. And we can start to transform our mindset and our perspective, towards one of unhappiness, separateness, and all feelings of pride or achievement stemmed from that feeling of separateness because we are taking more joy in our own achievements, than we would have someone else's. And we can slowly move into gratitude, except acceptance, and pure love, which is the greatest feeling in the world. And it is that healing energy, which transforms us and everyone around us, when we start to look back on our lives, and we focus more on how much love we gave to others, instead of how much money we gained. The feeling of not being enough, without your successes, disappears. In fact, this whole attitude of looking at your life critically disappears, because you are bathed in love, and your concern is for others. And your life is filled with so much meaning and purpose because of how much you cared for others. When we live shallow lives superficial. And we just live for ourselves or our pleasure. It may seem like that's the way to happiness. But there's billions of tales in human history of the complete opposite. We are all already enough. Against all odds, this universe manifested us into existence for a brief, fleeting, beautiful moment. And it was a gift, not a test, not to be torture, but to find the way to reach our greatest potential. And to have that choice to be able to walk that path or not, it is up to us, what we make of this time here, we can hold on to things from the past that no longer exist, we can hang on to those good feelings from the past those promotions, those raises and try to get as much joy out of these non existent figments of our imagination. Or we can connect with that source of life within us bask in the love of this universe and share that love with others. The choice is up to us. But one is infinite, multi dimensional, mystical and miraculous. And the other is a Ember from the past of a flame that's gone out. To experience that deep state of being we simply have to let go from that which we cling to so hard. We think we're holding on for dear life, but it is disconnecting us from life. And once we let go, we realize we won't fall that the universe will support us. And that it was that holding on that tight grip that we were afraid to let go of that was actually the source of our own stress and tension within because to the layman. Our happiness is dependent on external situations. and things and people, but to the spiritual Seeker they understand that no one is responsible for our happiness, our joys and sorrows. But us thank you so much for listening. This has been path to peace with Todd Perelmuter. I'm your host Todd Perelmuter. Peace and love. You've been listening to path to peace with Todd Perelmuter. Being here and putting in this important and noble work is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself and others. If you found this podcast even a little helpful, please make sure to leave a review so it can reach others who may be in need. And remember, the path to peace starts with a single step.