We've all got these judgmental, opinionated, critical voices in our head — relics from a time where humans lived in the wild and in constant physical danger. Today, we live in relative safety, but whether we're at the office, in traffic, or a line at the supermarket, our bodies are in an almost constant state of stress.
This subtle constant stress puts our judgmental mind into overdrive. Instead of judging whether footprints are from a tiger or a harmless cat, we judge whether other people are threats or not.
So how do we maintain our discernment without being overly critical and negative? How do we keep safe while being more open and positive? Is it even possible to put our guards down without putting ourselves in danger? And why do we have these misery-generating tendencies in our mind in the first place?! I answer these questions and more in today's podcast.
Please enjoy other episodes where Todd shares meditation techniques, tips and spiritual lessons from around the world for peaceful and stress-free living. Remember to subscribe to stay up-to-date.
*****
If you ever feel like my words brought a change in your life, and want to show your SUPPORT for what I am doing, click here.
Find all of my BOOKS for wherever you are on your spiritual journey: https://www.eastwesticism.org/spiritual-meditation-books/
Want to gift a book to a prisoner? Go here.
We've all got these judgmental, opinionated, critical voices in our head — relics from a time where humans lived in the wild and in constant physical danger. Today, we live in relative safety, but whether we're at the office, in traffic, or a line at the supermarket, our bodies are in an almost constant state of stress.
This subtle constant stress puts our judgmental mind into overdrive. Instead of judging whether footprints are from a tiger or a harmless cat, we judge whether other people are threats or not.
So how do we maintain our discernment without being overly critical and negative? How do we keep safe while being more open and positive? Is it even possible to put our guards down without putting ourselves in danger? And why do we have these misery-generating tendencies in our mind in the first place?! I answer these questions and more in today's podcast.
Please enjoy other episodes where Todd shares meditation techniques, tips and spiritual lessons from around the world for peaceful and stress-free living. Remember to subscribe to stay up-to-date.
*****
If you ever feel like my words brought a change in your life, and want to show your SUPPORT for what I am doing, click here.
Find all of my BOOKS for wherever you are on your spiritual journey: https://www.eastwesticism.org/spiritual-meditation-books/
Want to gift a book to a prisoner? Go here.
0:02
Welcome to path to peace with Todd Perelmuter. I'm your host, Todd Perelmuter our world is a projection of our collective consciousness. The more peace we bring into our lives, the more peace we bring into this world. So let the transformation begin.
0:23
Welcome to path to peace with Todd Perelmuter. I am your host, Todd Perelmuter. And today, the question is how to stop judging yourself. And when we address this question, it is vital that we recognize that everything we project comes from within, and that everything we perceive, we recognize only because we perceive it within ourselves, and we're intimately familiar and knowledgeable about whatever we're perceiving.
1:05
This is why we don't judge trees, as good or bad, pretty or ugly, we judge people, because this is how we identify. And as long as we identify with these temporary, what some would call flawed, but others may call perfect imperfections. Simply differences are neither good nor bad, pretty or ugly. These are direct results, from identifying with the thoughts as well as the body.
1:48
And so when it comes to people, we perceive as far as in others, what we believe would be flaws in ourselves. And we perceive positively traits and others that we either possess or wish we possessed. And this is just the nature of the ego. We never compare how much stuff we have to how much a squirrel has. If we did we would feel over the moon all the time, we would feel like we we have more than 50 acorns.
2:33
So we're doing all right, you know, we only compare ourselves with others. And this is the only way we can compare. If you have a billion dollars, you don't think someone with a million dollars has a lot of money.
2:52
But you may always feel like you never have enough because you're living with people who have $10 billion. And so we have to recognize that every judgment stems from a self judgment. Judging is not a reality, it's a comparison with nothing to compare to.
3:18
You could not say if a person had a large nose or a small nose, there would just be no basis for comparison. And so no judgment can be made. And so if we want to stop judging others, we have to become aware of how we are judging ourselves.
3:42
This tendency to judge is a phenomenal survival mechanism. And it's why we are all here today. And we evolved to be able to judge whether a sound was dangerous and threatening, like a tiger. Or if it was just the wind blowing some leaves. We had to judge whether a nearby tribe was going to be peaceful or aggressive.
4:12
And in a world where we lived in tribes of 100 people or so where we were in the wilderness, because that's all there was. These judgments were life saving. But in the world we live in today, the community of 8 billion people, the billions if not trillions of web pages and billions of social media channels 1000s of different peanut butters to choose from at the grocery store.
4:51
Just in general we are bombarded with information, the likes of which no species has ever seen before.
5:00
You know, in the past it was, if you're hungry, you go eat what's available. And that was it. And now we have endless choice. And so we are using this discernment, this skill of judgment in Lightspeed hyperdrive.
5:18
And it's becoming a complete and total and dominating habit of our mind, to constantly be in this judgment mode of, should we see this movie or this movie, should we go to this restaurant or that restaurant should we order this or that which of the 1000s of potential partners on this dating app should I message and this choice overload, not just in what we buy, but in what paths to go down in our life, which decisions to make and people to spend time with, we are solidifying that habit of judgment.
6:03
And if we are unaware of this process that is going on all the time, then it takes over our lives, and suddenly, we are curmudgeons, and we are finding fault with everything. And this is all a projection of how we feel the world is also looking at us, the way we see the world, we assume the is the way the world sees us. And so this constant negative judgment becomes our own mental prison.
6:35
And we are creating our own misery and suffering. And if we are finding faults in everyone, and everything, the chances are very good, that we find those same faults in ourselves if we look inward, and while feeling superior, and judgmental, and is one way to cope with low confidence and self esteem.
7:05
Ultimately, it only makes us more critical of ourselves and more negative, more critical of others, and ultimately just leading to more misery, which makes us feel lower, and have even less self esteem, and less confidence because judging others is not where truly confident people get their confidence that is like a person who is drinking to forget about their problems, instead of facing their problems.
7:40
It feels good in the moment. And that's why we do it, we get that hit of dopamine, that feeling of superiority and righteousness. But ultimately, it's very short lived. And there is a deep pain and sadness underneath the judgments that we all want to overcome, and why we're all looking for a way out of that judgmental mental habit.
8:11
And so to really stop judging, we have to do three fundamental things.
8:20
Number one is stop identifying with this body with these thoughts that we seemingly possess. But there is no deed of ownership, there is no contract written out that says we actually own these bodies. We feel like we have these bodies because our consciousness seems to emanate from within them.
8:43
But that consciousness is not tied to the body by any physical cord. That consciousness is not material in any sense. It is beyond all physical phenomenon. In the body. Scientists can't find where consciousness is. And if anyone looks truly deeply within, to find that self, to find that general or President behind the wheel of the vehicle of this human body, we never find it.
9:19
We never find that neuron that makes a decision. That center of self which if removed from the human body, that person would cease to exist.
9:33
While modern science thinks it's in the head, we know for a fact that practically any part of the brain could be removed and somewhat normal health and awareness would return to that patient and the rest of the brain would kind of fill in for that missing place. This sense of a person having an experience seems to arise From the combination of the body and mind.
10:06
And yet, when the body dies, even though it's still there, the essence of that person has gone. So something non material is what makes us who we are.
10:21
And the more we recognize our true self, as this consciousness, which is beyond form, this pure light of awareness.
10:36
So suddenly, there is nothing to judge, there is nothing to judge in ourselves or another people who are also these lights of awareness, you are not the person you think you are with the flaws and bad habits and makes mistakes, you are consciousness itself, being given a front row seat to be experience of that person's life.
11:14
It's like when we're trying to make a decision. And our brain goes back and forth between the options we have available.
11:24
And somehow, a decision is made by our higher intelligence. And sometimes that decision is very conscious. And we're very aware of the impact that that choice will have. And other times we don't, other times, we're impulsive, and we just act without thinking. And then our highest intelligence is that intuition that knows exactly what we need to do. It's beyond thought.
12:00
It's a feeling. And this is our inner parent, you could call it that really knows what's best for us. And when we make a decision from that place, and sometimes it's a difficult decision that we know we should do, but we really don't want to do. And that is what feels like the witness of our body and mind coming in and choosing for us. In many ancient cultures, they say that choices aren't made, choices are chosen, meaning that we never actually make a choice.
12:47
We never actually choose, because every choice is based on past experience. And a billion different factors that we're not even aware of that are happening subconsciously and unconsciously. And it is always these choices that are made from peace and stillness, from a feeling of wholeness, and a feeling of joy, as well as from being fully present.
13:21
And in the moment when our brain gets out of the way. And the universe is guiding us that we are in touch with that witnessing presence, that we allow our highest consciousness that witness itself, to flow with us and to guide us and we reconnect with that formless dimension, that spiritual dimension beyond space and time where no judgment can possibly exist.
14:01
Because how can pure light, a ray of light, you know pure energy be judged? And how can we judge that in someone else? So we have to remember our true nature, who we really are and who others are too. And all judgments fall away.
14:27
Death is really our greatest teacher in knowing who we really are, because we are able to see what the physical body is and how it exists, when there is no non physical energy and consciousness inhabiting it. And we can see that it is that non physical conscious sickness, which is everything, to who we all are.
15:07
The body we judge ourselves and others for the, the way people behaved, which was always a byproduct from their experience and their biology.
15:21
All of these things that we judge others for are meaningless compared to our true nature. They are so insignificant without that lifeforce energy flowing through each and every body.
15:41
And only when we can get beyond thought, can we reconnect to consciousness, to conscious awareness to that lifeforce energy within everyone, and we can help others to be their most beautiful and loving and present selves. Just simply by being that ourself, we are such social creatures, that simply projecting a non judgmental attitude towards someone else can transform that person into being more non judgmental, towards you, and to others as well.
16:27
And simply seeing that light of consciousness, that spark of life and someone seeing their true and ultimate potential, can help them see it in themselves. And if each of us stops judging ourselves, and in turn, we stop judging others, then everyone we encounter can be transformed as well. And we can live in a world where nobody judges anybody, or at least, the people in your community. Hopefully, we'll go global.
17:02
And then as we go about our lives, and we find ourselves, making choices, which partner to pursue, which food to buy, etc.
17:20
We'll do it from a place of total peace. We don't stress about the choice, we don't feel that there's only one right and wrong choice. We simply love all options, and make a choice. We don't have to say in our mind, something is bad. To feel good about choosing the other thing.
17:52
I always like to tell people that I love every piece of art in the world, because it came from an artist who tried in earnest to make the world a more beautiful place. And I love that. Now, I don't want to buy every piece of art, I couldn't afford it. I don't want to hang up every piece of art in my house, I don't have the room.
18:19
So I have to make choices. But I can still give appreciation and love to every single person out there who is trying to make the world a brighter, more beautiful place. We don't have to date everyone in the world, we can make a choice, but we can love and find beauty in every single person on earth, just like we do in every flower in every sunset.
18:56
And the last thing we need to do is just stay aware of our judgments.
19:03
If we witness the judgment, we are not having the judgment. We are simply the spectators. And as long as there is that distance, that we have that higher conscious awareness. And we have these physical bodies with these physical brains that have a job to do, which is to avoid danger. seek comfort and safety.
19:31
Then we just get to enjoy the show. Just like when we're watching a movie. It can be a horror movie. It can be a tragedy. And we can enjoy the ups and downs. In fact we pay extra if it has a lot of ups and downs and a lot of twists and turns and nobody pays to see a movie where it's just camera set up on a tree and just filming the trees blowing in the wind.
20:00
And so we just watch judgments even as they come and go. And then with that higher intelligence with that wisdom of a parent, watching a child, who knows what's best for the child, we too, can witness our thoughts, recognize good ones, bad ones, helpful ones, harmful ones, ones that cause suffering, ones that cause joy.
20:30
And we can just marvel at this incredible show that we all are here to watch this, for me, the Todd show.
20:44
For you, the whatever your name is show, we can witness these thoughts of judgments. And then we can witness these thoughts of judging our judgments. And we can just watch this hilarious comedy play out. Although if we don't have a good sense of humor, and if we take things too seriously, that comedy becomes a tragedy. And that's when we really need to remind ourselves to relax, and not take things too seriously. Remember, we're just watchers of the show, we're not in the show.
21:26
Our consciousness is not of this physical dimension. We're just dropping in on this cosmic comedy. And the graphics are so good. And the sound effects are so accurate, that we are constantly forgetting that we are just watching this virtual reality. And we forget that these things that have absolutely no importance, we let become so important in our minds.
22:03
And so the more kind, we are to ourselves, the Kinder we become towards others. And kindness is really that ultimate antidote to judgment.
22:19
And the more we nourish that kindness and compassion for ourselves, the more we're able to give that same kindness and compassion to others. And kindness and compassion are everything. Because with them, we remember that when we are judging someone, we are not taking into account that maybe they are responding.
22:48
Based on past trauma, maybe their experiences that have shaped their physical body and brain have not been optimal. And through no fault of their own, they found themselves in very unfortunate situations where they were not given the best tools to make a positive impact on themselves and others.
23:19
And so we need to be there for ourselves, we need to be there for others, especially the people were judging us and condemning because they need it the most. Because clearly no one else was there for these people to show kindness and compassion. And so they developed a trauma response. Because the world is full of traumatized people, traumatizing other people.
23:45
And maybe we're judging someone for their looks, which is another thing that they really had no choice in. And so the more we recognize that nobody really has anything to do with their own looks and body, with their own choices, and behaviors, because we are all molded by our environment, and created by genetics, which are all out of our control, then we can be more understanding to people we would have normally judged, more compassionate, more positive, more helpful.
24:30
And ultimately, we create a more loving and patient and accepting world and that's what we all want.
24:43
Thank you so much for listening today to path to peace with Todd Perelmuter. I am your host Todd Perelmuter. Peace and love.
24:53
You've been listening to path to peace with Todd Perelmuter being here and putting in this important and
25:00
No war is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself and others. If you found this podcast even a little helpful, please make sure to leave a review so it can reach others who may be in need. And remember, the path to peace starts with a single step.