What is the nature of attachments? Why do we develop them if they only cause suffering? How do we break free from the grip of attachments and how do we still form healthy and loving bonds? These are the questions we delve into in today's podcast.
Please enjoy other episodes where Todd shares meditation techniques, tips and spiritual lessons from around the world for peaceful and stress-free living. Remember to subscribe to stay up-to-date.
*****
If you ever feel like my words brought a change in your life, and want to show your SUPPORT for what I am doing, click here.
Find all of my BOOKS for wherever you are on your spiritual journey: https://www.eastwesticism.org/spiritual-meditation-books/
Want to gift a book to a prisoner? Go here.
What is the nature of attachments? Why do we develop them if they only cause suffering? How do we break free from the grip of attachments and how do we still form healthy and loving bonds? These are the questions we delve into in today's podcast.
Please enjoy other episodes where Todd shares meditation techniques, tips and spiritual lessons from around the world for peaceful and stress-free living. Remember to subscribe to stay up-to-date.
*****
If you ever feel like my words brought a change in your life, and want to show your SUPPORT for what I am doing, click here.
Find all of my BOOKS for wherever you are on your spiritual journey: https://www.eastwesticism.org/spiritual-meditation-books/
Want to gift a book to a prisoner? Go here.
0:02
Welcome to path to peace with Todd Perelmuter. I'm your host, Todd Perelmuter our world is a projection of our collective consciousness, the more peace we bring into our lives, the more peace we bring into this world. So let the transformation begin.
0:23
Today the question is our attachments ego based? So what are attachments? And why do we develop them?
0:37
There reason is quite simple. And it has to do with habits and how we form habits. When we do something over and over again, our brains no longer have to think about it. And we do it automatically. It's like, we are taken over by that automatic impulse. And we completely lose ourselves in those activities.
1:14
Because we no longer have to be present, we no longer have to think about every step of what we're doing. Because it's all muscle memory. It's all heavily ingrained in our brains. And so we just run on autopilot.
1:28
So this is why we can take a shower in the morning, we can even drive to work. And we can have no memory of these things taking place. And because we were just zoned out the whole time, barely conscious of what was happening around us, and all the you know, look over your shoulder, when you're backing out all the look over, you know, check your mirror before changing lanes, it all happens completely automatically, after we've been doing something for a long time.
2:00
And so the brain, which does this in order to save brainpower, and maximize efficiency, creates these automatic responses, so that we can be alert to our surroundings while we're doing something mundane.
2:20
The problem is, when our mind is focused on other things than the task we're doing, then we become slaves to these attachments, we become compulsively acting out bad habits, or we become attached to comfort, comfortable, safe experiences that we've had over and over again. And we even become attached to our identity, how we label our personality, we become attached, and identify with ways of thinking, ways of believing.
3:04
And part of that mindset we become attached to is the mindset of attachment itself, where we crave certain luxuries or we crave certain experiences, or we are attached to having a certain social life or a loved one. And so when we experience our situations change, and that attachment, no longer there, then we suffer immensely, because this thing we have become so accustomed to is no longer there. And this terrifies the ego, because it felt safety in that attachment. It knew what was going to happen. And it had certain expectations that weren't met. And now according to the brain, it's in danger zone.
4:07
This is why the brain craves repetition seeks out the stability and what we are accustomed to, because this is what's familiar. And while this is beneficial, and intuitively tells us what feels good, what feels right to us.
4:32
It is easy to see how that mindset can stunt our growth and evolution. How it can lead to fear, even fear of leaving the house or fear of trying new things or going for a new career that feels more like it would be fulfilling. It can prevent us from leaving and abuse a partner we've become attached to.
5:03
And we can always live in that fear, that attachment to comparing ourselves with others chasing that material possession game, and always fearful that we won't have enough, won't have more than the next guy, or that we could lose our stuff.
5:27
And so these natural processes of the brain that served humans really well for a million years, until recently, during the last couple 100 years, when accumulation and mass production and branded advertisements and products really came into full swing, suddenly, our attachment wanting brain was hijacked.
6:01
And now we crave such specific things, and specific circumstances and specific luxuries and pleasures, that it consumes us. And we are always fearful of losing what we have ungrateful for what we do have and afraid of change. And that is really the essence of what all attachment is when it when you get right down to it, it is the Miss identifying temporary phenomena, which is literally everything.
6:47
For permanent, stable consistency, stable consistency, and permanence do not exist, the only thing that is unchanging and permanent, is empty space.
7:10
And all matter, all energy. And all mental activity is constantly changing. And just as empty space is the place where all matter and all energy emerge from.
7:33
Within each one of us. There is a blank canvas in the back of our minds, from which all the sense perceptions that we experience. All the sights, sounds, smells and tastes we experience are projected onto. And that blank canvas, that inner spaciousness through which all experience emerges, is our true unchanging Self.
8:06
And when we don't identify with that non material consciousness inside of us, which is the essence of who we are, beneath the aging body and brain, we begin to feel like these fleeting, temporary aging bodies.
8:37
And we are grasping at anything we can attach ourselves to, in order to not feel this fleeting nature of existence. And so we cling to permanence and stability.
8:57
We grip and attach ourselves to anything we can hold on to, even though everything is changing constantly and rapidly. We are constantly trying to grab hold of something to feel secure about. And even though we know that everybody is aging, and everybody is growing old and is going to die, and that all the stuff around us is deteriorating and decomposing, and in a few 100 years or decades, or 1000 years will have dissolved to dust.
9:39
Because we don't see that change happening in front of our eyes. It's too slow. We become taken in by that illusion of permanence. And we feel that there can be some solace there. If we cling tight enough that we can have stability and We won't have to fear, a changing future. And this delusion, which is that first attachment that we all develop that all attachments stem from, is really the cause of nearly all suffering.
10:16
Because we mistake every situation we find ourselves in as permanent. And we can feel an emotion so strongly, that we feel will feel that forever. Even though 10 minutes later, we'll be feeling something completely different. Everything and each moment feels like forever.
10:37
You know, we can eat too much food at a meal, and say, I am never eating again, ever in my life, I don't think I'll ever be hungry, ever again.
10:48
And we can say that many times, and each time realizing how foolish we were. But we'll say it the next time, because we are still under this illusion of permanence. And we have to accept change on a very deep level, in our subconscious and unconscious minds, not just on a conscious level, in order to very peacefully, welcome things that come into our life, and let them go peacefully when they leave, with no attachment, and no clinging.
11:22
And to do this, we have to reconnect and recognize our true nature, which is the unchanging consciousness within us. Because this is our gateway to the present moment, this stillness, only from stillness, can we see change, when everything's changing, if ever, if we're in a plane, and we look around only the cabin of the plane, it looks like nothing's moving, because everything is moving.
12:06
And in the same way, we have to tap into that stillness within, beyond thoughts, and exist in that inner space, through which all of our life experience is projected onto.
12:26
Our thoughts are constantly changing. Our emotions are constantly changing, the cells in our body are constantly dying in new ones are being born.
12:37
And yet, our consciousness is the only thing that has never changed in our entire life. That is the continuum that says that this person is still this person, despite everything else changing, despite no cell existing seven years later, and being a completely different person, it is only that stream of consciousness, which is always still.
13:07
That is our true selves. From when we're a baby, with brains not fully developed to middle age, and old age, even though our eyesight may fade, and our hearing may fade, and our memories may disappear.
13:26
We are still that consciousness, that is just existing in a changing body. And the more present we are, the more we shift into that witness that consciousness that is that the root of who we are, we move beyond all thoughts, all notions of our identity, all notions of who we should be what we should have, how our lives should be.
13:59
And we move past that constantly commenting, mind, and we move into the deeper reality, that permanent, everlasting, eternal, infinite space, which is the most real thing in our universe, because everything else is constantly in change, constantly coming into existence and falling out of existence.
14:32
Like a magician who does a trick and you know, says here, one minute gone the next and it's a total illusion.
14:40
This is the nature of our reality. If something is here, one minute and gone the next. It was an illusion. And what was real was the space from which it emerged and the space to which it returns. The more we sit in that space illness, that space of consciousness, the more stillness and peace we bring into our lives. And the more we move past that commenting brain, and practice being, and witnessing, the more things enter our lives.
15:23
And we don't develop attachment, the more they leave, and we are remaining at peace, we are just flowing with time. And we are not looking back, comparing this moment to the past or some imagined future, we are just open to reality, as it is welcoming everything that comes and allowing everything to leave. And this is the flow state where we are fully present where our hearts are fully open. This doesn't mean we are putting ourselves in danger. And we're letting go of our higher wisdom of self protection, we usually cling and attach to our thinking mind and our attachments. Because we feel like we need the suffering, to be smart, and avoid danger.
16:29
But when we are fully present, we are wiser, and safer, because we're not going to walk into traffic. You know, while we're thinking about how we're going to make more money, you know, we're going to be at our optimum state of consciousness, because we are fully reacting to the present moment, and what it is requiring of us without any story in our mind, without being distracted by thoughts about something happening later. And we will realize we don't need to hold on to anything.
17:14
That most of the time holding on being attached to especially a person tends to push that person away.
17:25
Or when we're driving a car, and it's very expensive. And we are so worried we are more likely to make a mistake than when we are driving totally comfortable, totally relaxed, not clinging, not attached.
17:44
And it's the same with going on stage and talking to 1000 people versus one person, the more we are attached to some outcome of I want to do good I want success, the more I'm attached to the praise of others or some notion of success and whatever that may be, then we are putting more pressure on ourselves, we're going to be more nervous and we are going to perform much worse.
18:17
So this really is that catch 22 of manifesting, which is when we cling to a person, we come off needy. When we cling to a goal, we may be willing to do anything to achieve it even losing ourselves losing our values. And when we are detached and we are thinking clearly, we are much more likely to attract all of the blessings of this world. We are more likely to project confidence and ease and more likely to achieve all of the things and dreams we were attached to.
19:14
When we are attached to a person or thing that person or thing controls us. When we let go of attachment.
19:25
That thing or person are more likely to come into our lives because we are in control and being in control. Being free from desires, attachments, and clinging is attractive, does get rewarded in business situations.
19:50
And even others are more likely to follow in that person's footsteps when they are not appearing to need to control the other person, and instead are comfortable in their own skin, not fearful at peace, whether things go their way or not. And so to achieve everything we want, without attachment is to act externally, with stillness internally.
20:28
That is being in the flow state, being fully present your full attention on your fingertips while you're doing something, or really observing and seeing with your eyes at whatever you're doing. When we are fully present, no thoughts have room to come in. Because as soon as thoughts come in, we're lost in thought, and we're not paying attention to what's right in front of us. And a distracted mind that is lost in thought, is a frequently clinging attached. Mind that is easily distracted. And a distracted mind is really the main cause of boredom.
21:21
And that feeling of loss because that distracted mind is constantly comparing this moment to the past. And it cannot focus on the present moment. And so we need to do two things, in order to break free from attachment. And the first thing is, we need to increase our focus our power of focus, and attention.
21:49
Because when we can just focus, we are no longer lost in our thoughts, we are no longer thinking about what we want tomorrow, or the next day or our expectations and demands of other people. And we are fully invested in this peaceful present moment. And it always is peaceful. Even when the world around us is chaotic.
22:17
The internal universe can be at peace. And it is only that thinking commotion that creates all of that chaos we experience because there is no real chaos in the world. It is only an interpretation of a brain that is working overtime, to make us suffer. Once we work on the focus, the second thing we have to do is practice shifting that focus to the present moment.
22:56
And the good news is both of those things are the result of meditation. In meditation, it is essentially directed focus for an extended period of time. That is the focus part. The second part is practicing being present. So that becomes our natural state of being. So we can be in that flow state more often.
23:23
And because in meditation, we are focusing on something in this moment, either your breath, your body, or a mantra, or a guided meditation you may be listening to you are focusing always on the present moment, you're not thinking about the last breath, the last mantra, something that the guided meditator said a few minutes ago, you are on this moment.
23:54
And so by practicing to put your focus on this moment, you increase your presence, you move beyond thought, attachment cleanness and you are developing that muscle for being present, while simultaneously developing that capacity to focus and direct your attention wherever you want it to go. Instead of jumping around like a monkey mind, flying from thought to thought aimlessly swinging from branch to branch in the metaphor.
24:38
And you are now the captain of your reality, your destiny.
24:48
Your inner universe and the universe around you. And as that still watcher that witness inside of you. You recognize the temporary, fleeting, constantly changing existence all around you on a deep level, because you see it all the time. You witness the change, you aren't the change.
25:20
And so you become comfortable letting things come and go. And your new habit is detachment and ultimately, free from the suffering of change, aging and loss.
25:41
Thank you so much for listening. This has been path to peace with Todd Perelmuter. I'm your host Todd Perelmuter. Peace and love.
25:49
You've been listening to path to peace with Todd Perelmuter. Being here and putting in this important and noble work is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself and others. If you found this podcast even a little helpful. Please make sure to leave a review so it can reach others who may be in need. And remember, the path to peace starts with a single step.